from whence i have come...

out of the forest (quite literally) and back onto the grid.

today is my father's birthday.

today i am a mere three days shy of being 'on the road' for two long months. i think i had an inkling that these months were going to be long. as the days passed, the time away from anything i've called home seemed to strech on like the midwest horizon. i found small pieces, little places of 'home' along my way. Seattle. Plymouth. Nashville. Ft Collins. that was good.

today i drove from southern oregon straight to my parent's house, in lovely-golden-brown-hilled NorCal. by the by, it's really hot up in northern northern california right now. as i crested the last hills before i dropped down into the valleys that comprise the 'north bay area', i felt the cool coastal air nip softly at my arm as it hung out the window. the air was a sure sign that i had returned to the land of my fathers. but with it, i know comes so much more. that the life i know outside of traveling along america's roads on the roving winds, that state of living that I guess i would call my life, would once again be mine to inhabit and partake in.

but things are different. irevocablly different. any substantial time alone; traveling great distances; traveling at all; partaking in something outside of yourself; seeing life outside of yourself; meeting someone special; these things change you. they have all happened to me in the last two months. i have changed.

i have fed my wanderlust. i have floated on the winds up the coast, seen the Big Sky, and traversed the wide plains. i have sat quietly beside a beautiful woman. i have grown weary of the road, and have chased the sun westward as far as i can.

another year lays just ahead. i cannot get there by car. i cannot and will not walk there alone.

i am full of hope...

road poetry a.k.a. 'roadetry'

set out across the high desert of eastern oregon. thought i was going to dread each bleak and far stretching mile. but not the case today. no, today was cool air, desolate beauty, thoughts of a lady elsewhere, and great music. iron & wine. doug martsch.

over 200 miles passed as quick as i can write it. it might have helped that i pounded three red bulls at 8:30am. but who's to know these things. the landscape and the quiet begged me to write. so i grabbed the little notebook and steered with my knee.

it was fruitful. i shall part with those words. but first, i'm going to be going off the grid again. this time i'll be camping with my family in southern oregon. it's been close to eight years since we've done this. i'll try to jack in at some point in the week, but who's to know these hings. i'll be back in Novato before the month is over.

as i draw nearer to the end of this road trip, i'm filled more and more with mixed feelings. peace and calm, like i've done what i've set out to do. excitement, for the next chapter in my life. saddness, ostensibly, as this time of unbridled freedom comes to a close.

i have begun age 26 with a bang, an adventure, and a new little lady. i could not ask for anything more.

i'll see you all soon...

----------------

'heading west'

a tiny speck under an open sky
floating along on this black swath.
the air rushes
in the window to flood my nostrils.

i am a dust man,
formed of that same earth
i so silently pass over.

the sun and powerlines
give me direction.
the clouds
-chaotic in majesty-
gently urge me on.
the mountains
simply ignore me,
my time with them is but a breath.

i speed to
and crest each horizon
full of wind-teary-eyed anticipation.

yet i only find
more hills and peaks
bekoning me to come
and see what lays beyond
their heights.

so, i breathe
and press forward,
cutting my own furrow,
forging across this open land.

i think on a love
and other meadowed valleys
i've left behind
-but not forgotten.

i head west
to chase the sun
and a future that lies ahead
and unknown.

fortune on the high desert

so we left our hero sitting in his car on the edge of the unknown. with no clear prospects of camping, he pushes on. darkness pervading, eyes getting heavier with each black and lonely mile.

it’s nigh on midnight now. i pass a dirt road in the darkness and then another. damn, it’s dark. my headlights are losing the battle. the peterbilts are barreling and will not allow me to slow at all. i’m falling asleep, and no amount of loud music is helping.

i let the semi pass and for a moment i am alone under the dark wyoming sky. i vow to take the next dirt road, no matter where it leads, and look for a place to bed down. a slight screech of tires as i almost miss the tiny brown path that deviates from the blacktop. the ‘dirt’ road is more rocks than dirt and my car is begging me to go slow. it curves from left to right until i no long no which way is which. up and over a small hill, tells me it’s time to stop. i can no longer see the string of red and white lights that pepper the night highway.

rabbits and prairie dogs dart across the road from one sagebrush to another. as if one side is better. a slice of prairie grass along the road looks flat. here i will make my home.

first the tarp, then the pad, finally the sleeping bag. lantern and knife within arms length. i ‘mark’ my territory for good measure. the ground is surprisingly comfortable, either that or i am really tired. with no lights, civilization, or anything around, it’s just me and the stars. i don’t even think the moon was there for company. whispering a silent prayer of thanks for my spot, i drift off.

morning comes quick. i wake before the sun has peaked above the hills. i stand barely clad, and look around at the bleak beauty and sunrising colors that stretch before me. i love my life.

drove across all of idaho. honestly not much to see. just stayed the night across the oregon border, in ontario. 9 hours of driving lay ahead of me. oh yeah, and my trunk broke this morn. "it's okay, we didn't need that part anyway, she'll fly without it."

i'll be back in that old familiar Pacific time zone again before i know it. unfortunately that puts me two hours from my girl, and many miles from Montana, the promised land.

oh, california, how i love and hate thee.

but, before i get ahead of myself...three cheers for Oregon...

good will in the mountains

i am in green river, wyoming right now. my computer is busted and i can't lift the screen more than 3 inches. typing with my hands on the keys and the screen on top of my hands. absolutly stupid. but as a reciever of many free things, (cars, computers) i must not complain too much.

i'm sitting behind a ghetto liquor store in the darkness of my car and the shadows, stealing internet and drinking a cool but not cold beer. my plans to 'just camp somewhere in southwestern wyoming' have blown up in my face. no campgrounds, and no national forest. no trees anywhere actually, just rocks and shrubery. so as i write this, i don't quite yet know what i'm going to do, but, ah well, this is what it's all about right?

yesterday i was outside colorado springs with an uncle and aunt. i had some friends that i knew lived in northern CO, but i never called them in the planning phases of this trip. i cold called them from a pay phone in the mountains (this is after i asked a stranger to borrow his cell so that i could make another call...didn't have the heart to make two). i tell them i'm coming through and would love to stop for a few minutes and say hello. long story short, their hospitality abounded and i stayed till today.

twice yesterday i banked on the good will of my fellow man, and it paid off richly. Let us also say this: Ft Collins, CO is my new favorite place. instant friends, micro brewed beers to the hilt, sweet church this morn, and mountain high beauty. i can ask for little more.

i am becoming road weary. i miss my girl terribly. the time is drawing nearer to hang up the keys and the wanderlust for a while. i need to be a home body for a bit.

alright, with any luck, i won't have to sleep by the side of the road. next stop, OREGON...

chasing the sun...

so i'm heading west now. i will not spend a great deal of time lamenting that I have not written. in my defense, i will say that it is because i have been living in a fantasy world, enraptured by a woman. and i wouldn't trade a minute of it...

yes, there is a girl...

i drove across missiouri and kansas yesterday and the day before. it is a wasteland of nothingness out there. i had very little to keep me going, save for the promise of the cool crisp air of the mountain country and the northern states.

i came to an epiphany yesterday while driving. i am feeling the road tripping bug slowly being worked out of my system. alone on the road is losing its romanticism. i don't think that i'll back out alone. alone on the road of life is losing its romanticism as well.

i know. we'd never thought we'd see the day, but this 'confirmed bechelor' is tiring of his rambling ways.

i will be spending the next few days treking to southern oregon to meet up with the family for a week of camping. so freakin excited. after that, will return to the california north to work and road-detox.

the road, it would seem, has beaten me up a bit more than i thought it would.

perhaps i'm just feeling lost without her by my side...