two lives, one future.

drove today. trekked back to SB for the weekend. a show is being put on by my friend Zak and he has called in the winds from the four corners. it feels good to be part of a larger whole. working toward a greater good. in this piece, as we worked today, it really did seem like the the big picture really was going to be greater than the sum of all of us. Redemption History III. kind of amazed that it's actually happening. feels like not that long ago when he was hatching this scheme and pulling me in and along. (i just turned out to be a willing abettor in this three part, three year saga.)

i'm feeling somehow behind in the midst of all this life. feeling like there's always more to do than the hours in the day permit. funny how that is. life has taken over again, and i've forgotten to stop for minutes here and there. i tell myself every so often, (usually when i've escaped the world for short time and really find the peace, the center, my center) that i'm not going to let life get to me. that i'm somehow going to be different and take time for all those things. all those goals, projects, dreams. but, slow and pervasive, the hectic nature of things, creeps. fills the nooks and crannies of my time. saps my energy. wake, eat, work, shower, eat, sit down. all of the sudden, the night is pressing in, my bed is calling, and my leaded-eyes are fighting me.

but oh, the summer. how the summer months have always been my reprieve. pack the car, test the wind, kick the tires. the carefree life of the open road, though inherently irresponsible and destined to be a young man's memory, always has that knack for giving me the perspective that i need.

(strange. it seems like i've been posting a lot lately about the ideas of home. essentially the permanence of home, and my own ideas of settling. but here i am, how naturally it feels to pen these thoughts, back at the musings on the road-life. some things, i think, will always bleed through, no matter how you may distill a man.)

this summer, as i have said, will be different. not different like all the others have been different from themselves. but different in a way that i cannot understand until i live it out. this summer, both a figurative and literal time, is the fusing of two existences. back on the road, but taking my girl (who so much of my ideas of home are wrapped up in) along with me. carefree lifestyle, but ostensible thoughts of the future. where i've come from, where i'm going.

i have to say, that truly, this adventure gets better and better each day. there's a cool breeze blowing north, the big sky is beckoning. there's a beautiful girl in a sun-dress sitting in the passenger set, big sunglasses and sun-blonde hair. if you want to find me, i'll have the window down and a big smile on my face...