home re-discovered, continually re-defined...

the name of this place is CUPS. the state that i am in is Mississippi. by all objective views, i could not be in a more foreign land. (though my memories of other continents remind me that there is always somewhere further off than this place.) yet. yet, i find that i am more at home than i have ever been.

ah, and here we are back at the idea of home.

she and i sat on the couch today. we went to the store. we ate lunch. we did many 'normal' things that people take for granted, until you can't do them together. i think back to the internal discussion i had with myself about what makes up a home. i'm finding the idea expanding and filling out the spaces.

it may be simplistic, but i boldly say it anyways: home is where she is. here, let me say it better to try and redeem the potential cliche-ness of the last sentence. it is the little seemingly inconsequential moments all strung together with her that make this life good, that makes home a floating fluid concept that is found more in relation to a person than a place.

as a tried and true, born and bred, to the core Westerner, i take pride in self-knowledge. i sought myself, i sought direction, i, effectively, sought after meaning and fate. but, you've heard me say, that i wasn't looking for Her, when i found her. and, incidentally, i found much more. i found myself, or at least who i'm becoming, or who i am trying to be. i found direction, a clear needled bearing. it is in no particular heading, toward many a goal, but in every snapshot, it is with her. only in relation to her, have i begun to truly see myself.

if you can find me, i might be a bit more quiet. i might have a glimmer-peace in the eyes. if you can find me, i'd love to tell you the story of how i made my way home...